Oh well.

In less than an hour I will turn another year older, and up until earlier today I honestly didn't know what  to feel about it. If you may have noticed, except for a single post saying watching The Script is a great welcome to my birthmonth, I didn't spend weeks badgering the world wide web about how it's almost April and everyone should celebrate with me blah blah blah unlike the last couple of years

I don't know, maybe because aside from hearing news about a famous person dying (RIP Roger Ebert, you and your brilliant movie reviews will be missed), nothing reminds us of our own mortality than our birthdays.

At 27 years old, have I accomplished something I would really be proud of? I was a great student when I was still studying; I collected lots of medals and brought honor to my family and my school/ university when I participated in several conferences and youth camps in and even out of the country. I had a great and high-paying job but took the leap to pursue a job with less pay but more suited for me, my interests, and my skills. I have loved and given almost all of me in relationships but after my last crash and burn I haven't had the heart (and will) to love again. It's not like I haven't been trying, though. I guess I haven't just met him yet. At 27, I don't have a property under my own name yet or even big savings to speak of. It's like I reached my peak in college, then I just stopped being great at life since. Everything's uncertain and life is one big bleak whatever to me. I still have dreams, but right now they're very vague... I mean, I know I still want my own bookshop, but I honestly don't know how I am going to make that happen. I worry about a lot of things but no one knows it because I am always smiling and beaming with cheeriness.

I have to quit this, this is getting too depressing.

Would you like to know what I want?

I just want to be loved.

When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amoré.
A photo of the Makati skyline I took from the 53rd floor earlier.
I miss feeling a different rush when I see that special someone. I miss being looked at like I'm the only woman in the world. I miss having an instant date to the movies. I miss holding hands. In the words of Audrey Hepburn, "I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it." There's a spot in my heart that's waiting to be filled, and I just know that when it does happen it's going to be amazing.

I know it's something that can't be forced, so until then I know I will still be waiting. I've been waiting for so long, Universe, so he'd better be worth the wait.

So yeah, goodbye 26 years old Krissy. It's been nice being you. I'm almost ready to slip into 27 years old Krissy, and I definitely hope she would be wiser and stronger this time, and not give in to these sad thoughts too often.

Oh well.

"I was put on this earth to accomplish a lot of things.
Right now I'm so far behind I will never die."

9 comments

Mimai said...

aww. I'm with you Krissy. Don't worry, I love you! We love you! Just hang on a little longer and that person will come. For now, you can give that love to us! ;)
Let this be my early birthday greeting since I'm heading out of work at 12am and I might miss the struck of midnight and be minutes late on greeting you.
Happy Birthday dear! The crossing of our virtual lives is something I'm very thankful for, and you iz an awesome person! I'm so glad that I've met you! Last night, I was browsing through my past birthday posts and there was ours and looking at it, wow. We've changed a lot (we are still so nene on our past photos), but we're still friends! We may be busy but we still catch up once in a while. And that's good, right? :) So cheer up, buttercup! Today's a terrible day for me hence the very senti message (lol) but it doesn't mean that I can't help to pull a happy string on you. I hope to see you really soon! And on our birthmonth please! We shouldn't break our annual birthday bash!
I miss you and I'm really hoping to see you soon! <3 Happy Birthday Krissyfied! ;)
In case my previous msg didn't work out a smile, I hope peace, love and lipgloss will do. Much love! :)

Mimai said...

I just re-read my post and darn, it's cheeesyyyyyy. Hahahaha!! *back to normal self*

Tiara Risa said...

is it your birthday yet? :D hahaha... happy (early) birthday~!!! :3


and I feel you, but I'm not sure too, hahahah... I mean, I guess we just have to face it and marching on? And eventually find the one along the way ;)


let's have a toast for your birthday~! For a more succesful life, for more dreams to come true, for the right one to come to you, for the best thing in life to happen~!! CHEEEEEEERS~!!!

Anagon said...

Happy birthday sister! LOVE everything here. Basta sa kasal mo magsasalita ako, hahaha :) I love the quotes din and photo dito! Grabe ang mess din ng ulo ko ngayon and the past days, so masaya ako to read something na I super can relate to.
I love you forever. :) Happy birthday uli!

xLoveHappyx said...

it's ok to be sad sometimes, even when your birthday is involved. i'm sure that if you keep putting love into the world, love will be returned to you tenfold :) happy birthday!

ghoent said...

Happy birthday Krissy! :) We are young. I get these moments of wondering also but the silver lining's just too awesome to let this thought get the best of life. I see that you have lots of friends, you are one of the few who actually love what they are doing in terms of work, and you are pretty and smart to top it all off. We shall get there! :) Hugs. :)

Krystal said...

Hi Krissy, I love your post. HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear! You post are very inspiring. Don't worry, in GOD's perfect time, you will surely meet the guy that's meant for you. Worry not my dear as long as you are happy that's what matters most. Take care


Krystal
http://krystalpearl.blogspot.com

Claire Pascua said...

Happy birthday Krissy! (Sorry for the late greeting, didn't have proper internet yesterday.) I hope that you will get over those worries soon. I think that as long as you're doing your best, it's going to be alright in the end. I've been experiencing the same worries recently so I just want to say that you're not alone! :) Cheers to finding that special someone! Happy birthday :)

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Steven