Yesterday, I handed in my letter of resignation from my post as Customer Service & Sales Associate for HSBC Direct, effective 10 August 2012. The past five years and three months I have spent with my department in this company has been a great rewarding and learning experience for me so I am deeply saddened that it has now come to its end. I meant to stay for only six months and never really thought of making a career out of it --- I just wanted to work while I figure things out. After all, it is common for people in the call center industry to spend less than three years with one company before transferring to another. For someone to stay in the same department in one company for more than five years is already a feat in itself, based on the reaction of my new officemates after learning I have stayed this long. What can I say, I have been fortunate enough to work with the best teammates and bosses a girl fresh out of college could ask for that it took me a while to realize that hey, life's passing me by and I should get my act together if I really want to pursue my passions.

Scribbled in my planner.

I once jokingly told my friends that *real* problems start surfacing upon reaching 25. One moment we were carefree, happy-go-lucky individuals, and then the next moment we find ourselves being forced to be more mature and mind grown-up things like taxes and thoughts of starting our own families. There is no other time but now. I don't want to wake up one day and find myself 31 years old, still answering phone calls and stopping cards. (Note: I have nothing against those who do, but it is really not something I envision myself doing for the rest of my yuppie life.)

I have been mulling on this big decision for quite a while now so I thought when the time comes I would be prepared for it, but when my officemates started saying they'll miss me my tear ducts just lost it and competed on who could produce the most tears. It will be really difficult to say goodbye to people who have become so dear to me but it's a tough choice I must make. The most important thing is that I will take nothing but great memories with me. After all, what is life but a series of hellos and goodbyes.


While writing my resignation letter, I suddenly felt nauseous. My heart started beating rapidly and didn't stop and kept on beating like that the rest of the day. I figured it wasn't ordinary palpitation brought by caffeine as I only had a cup of coffee in the morning, this was an anxiety attack. I would be lying if I told you I am not feeling batsh*t scared that things won't work out, but upon hearing encouraging (and even congratulatory) words from my friends after I shared with them the news, I felt much, much better. As they say, if you are not being challenged then you're not growing. I have been in this enormous comfort zone pool for as long as I can remember, and I guess it's time to rock the boat and live a little more.


In the beginning of the year, Neil Gaiman said:

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something. So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

I hope this is one of the best mistakes I will ever make.