In which I share a poem that I have written seven years ago

Remember when I told you here that I might be able to share with you guys stuff I have written from years back? Well, that  time has come :D

I was at my parents’ house on my rest day when I decided to go through my old stuff and, you know, walk down memory lane for a bit. I was looking through the pile of notebooks and journals I have collected from the last eight years (our house burned down on 2001 so I started my collection from scratch again) when I saw this yellow notebook.


An old notebook, as in really OLD

This is actually an ordinary notebook that I have personalized by removing the spring binding and sewing the pages together, and then covering it with yellow paper (because yellow used to be my favorite color. I even had yellow_sunshine19@yahoo.com as my email address. I know, right?) and plastic. I also wrote my name on a cut-out sheet of fancy stationery which I glued on the front cover and even put a Tweety sticker for good measure (because in my highschool days, nothing says Kristel like a Tweety insignia lol).

I made this when I was in second year high school; I was fourteen years old that time. And no I did not have a boyfriend, but I seriously believed I was madly, head-over-heels, the-world-has-stopped-turning, desperately in love with a guy I have had a crush on since I was in grade four (ten years old). I even cried when I learned the next year that he has transferred to another region and will not study in our school anymore. It is kinda pathetic when I look back on it now, but forgive my young heart back then for thinking he was the greatest love of my life.

But that’s beside the point. The point is this yellow notebook contains valuable memories of my teenage years. I have written lots of songs on it that I have liked since I was young, songs that have just been released then, and songs that I have considered as included in the OST of my life. It includes songs such as Stay (by Lisa Loeb), Turn the Clock Around (by Mandy Moore), Sukiyaki (by 4PM), Lost in Space (by Lighthouse Family) and Until the Time is Through (by 5ive). Not only that, it contains poems I have written in high school. I admit I am not the best poet, but that time, I thought I was the best there ever was since I was the only one amongst my classmates who can write a string of words which rhyme at the end of each line :D And mind you, these songs and poems are not written directly on the paper. I wrote them first on fancy papers and stationery, cut them out, and then paste them to the pages. I thought it was the most artistic thing to do at the time. Now that I look back though, I can only smile at how naïve – but cute lol - I sounded :D


This is a copy of the song With a Smile by Eraserheads

Would you want to read one of the poems I have written? I guess you don’t have a choice anyway because I am presenting it to you now haha! This one I wrote on June 2, 2002 (I can’t believe it has already been that long). I just took a pen and paper, and then the words just flowed through me. I cannot explain it, it was almost like the pen has a mind of its own. I miss that feeling, the feeling of transforming thoughts to ink. I do that now as well, the only difference is that instead of ink, my thoughts become transformed to pixels :D

Back to the poem, I want to share this to you guys. Tell me what you think about it, and then tell me whether you have or you know someone who has already experienced it before. Keep in mind though that it is neither Neruda nor Keats. This bunch of lines attempting to rhyme was written by my fourteen-year old self, so please be kind :D

I never realized it would be over too fast
I always thought our love would last
It seemed we turned our backs from the past
Now it felt as if we’re worlds apart.

It all started one fine morning
I woke up suddenly losing the feeling
When I saw him, there is a nagging
Telling me he also felt nothing.

I know he felt the same way too
So I called to say we’re through
It is time to call it quits
But our memories will be for keeps.

The line was busy
Suddenly I felt guilty
So I put the phone down
But then it rang.

I picked it up on the second ring
Asking the other person, “Who’s calling?”
A deep voice answered, “Hey, ‘tis me,
We loved each other, but now we have to be free.”

I said, “Okay fine, I loved you too,
But you have to find the better one for you.”
I know we were breaking up
But surprise, surprise, I felt no pain inside.

And so it happened
We promised we’d be friends
But promises, in time, were bent
Our friendship also ended.

It’s because of a girl he met
Upon her, his gaze was always set
She prohibited him from seeing me
Fine with me, so long as he’s happy.

So we went with our own lives
Absorbing the sights and the sounds
Until I was haunted with sleepless nights
Can’t truly forget him, try as I might.

I realized I love him still
But he doesn’t know what I feel
We’re through, these feelings I must kill
But I can’t seem to find the will.

Until one morning, I saw him by my door
He is waiting with presents from the store
If only he knew how he made my heart soar
That day, a new love was born.

He said, “For a while, I’ve been blind
But I can’t seem to get you off my mind
I realized I’m not really strong
I needed your love all along.”

We found ourselves in a tight embrace
No need for words, I touched his face
I thought of all the times we’ve missed
Guess what, this story ends with a kiss.

Whoah, that was long! I hope I did not bore you. Oh, want proof I wrote that? Here’s the yellowed page:


 See that?

So there, what about you, got any similar stories to share? Or any embarrassing stories to share about your first loves and puppy loves? Please do tell me about them! There is comfort in knowing I am not alone :D

PS: I just cannot think where my fourteen year old-self got the idea for this poem x_x

PPS: I am still rounding up people who might want a Christmas cheer from me! Click here!


13 comments

Leah said...

Krissy, where did you get the inspiration? You were just 14 then... this is so deep for a 14 y/o. Ang galing naman.

While I was reading the poem, parang naka-relate ako except eto meron happy ending. Yung sa akin parang ang dating, the one who got away. Hahaha!

Manju said...

awww krissy! that's adorable! first crushes are sweet ^_^
did you ever hear what happened to that guy later on?

Nikolett said...

Krissy, you are too adorable! Those first puppy love crushes usually make the best poems ever, I find! I just found my journals recently so I'm loving this post so much ... it's so fun reading back on the past and seeing where you've come from there. And I pretty much love your obsession with yellow and daisies haha.

Hope you have a great weekend! :)

RicAdeMus said...

That's a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it!

My first crush was so innocent, it started my first day of school. LOL. The first poem I ever wrote was to help a heart-broken friend--he sent it to a girl with flowers.

RicAdeMus said...

PS-You inspired my recent post! =)

♥ KAYE ♥ said...

that's a lovely poem krissy. i had one like that too whem i was in high school but it got lost somewhere between my transition from high school to college to married life ... i'm still hoping to find it again. and you my dear have just given me an idea for my blog post. it's been a while since i posted anything, i couldn't find the inspiration but you've just given me one.

Andhari said...

How romantic of you, Krissy. Those are pretttttyyyy!:)

I had similar journals of poems. But you wrote so much better :)

Toothfairy said...

14 year old writing that!? amazing...
IF I was able to write such a poem, which I did in high school just because for SCHOOL, it was only 4 lines or so... they were ok-ish, but never long, and def. not as good as yours!

loves

Little Miss Tiara said...

That's SWEET! :D Hehehe... I used to write poems too, and I have like a BIG and THICK old books containing stories (everyday stories) of a guy I had crush on, lololol.

and By the way, I am the one who's supposed to send you the christmas gift (you know, Mel's project?) and guess what I've done? I thought Mel said the deadline was December 30 instead of November 30 -.- my bad, I just sent the gift today, rush rush...

and to top it, I forgot to insert the letter/card... so you won't find a Christmas card inside the envelope... I'm sucks, I know...

// krissy ♥ said...

Thank you for your comments! I'm glad you liked my 14-year old's attempts at narrative poetry :D

@ Leah: Wow thank you :) I also don't know, I just wrote it out of the blue XD
Regarding the one who got away, well, we'll always have that won't we. A bit sad, but a beautiful thought just the same :)

@ Manju: I saw him on Facebook but I did not add him. He was with a girl on the photo, definitely no hard feelings anymore but I don't know, I just did not want to add him XD

@ Nikolett: Thank you, you're so sweet! :) Yes, yellow used to be my favorite color, I don't know why it suddenly became pink :D

@ RicAdeMus: Wow, thank you, that's awesome! I am definitely hopping your page after I posted this :)

@ Kaye: Thank you, that's so sweet. Glad to be of help :)

@ Andhari: Thank you! Isn't it awesome to look back on all those teenage angst we had before and just laugh about them now? :D

@ Toothfairy: Thank you so much for always appreciating my written words :)

@ Little Miss Tiara: Oh that's perfectly fine! At least I got to open another present even after Christmas is over :D Thank you so much! Don't worry about the card, I'll def know it's from you. Email me your mailing address, I'd love to send you a Christmas card :)

Leah said...

Krissy, sale pa yun kasi they offered buy 1 take 1 for dresses and same for the tops. kakaaliw. Ang tagal lang malabhan kasi ilang beses ko pina-ulit. Sana bukas dry na para masuot ko na.

the girl in stiletto said...

wow. 14 years old and you wrote that? that was awesome! hahhaa. how we are always surprised by the things we did when we were kids.

so what happened to him? :D

// krissy ♥ said...

@ Leah: Galing talaga! I hope I can score some good deals at thrift stores as well! I've only been to a couple but I wasn't able to find anything remotely interesting :[

@ the girl in stiletto: Thank you :) I have no idea, except I think he's already married :D