Dear You

They've always said that all good things must come to an end.

It was a long time coming, with both of us seeming to elude this dark cloud over us. Whilst it did not end the way I wanted it to, I can say I am still glad we had this talk.

Now I feel very much like Tom Hansen of (500) Days of Summer. I'm Tom, you're Summer. I should have taken it as a sign when you didn't want to watch it even after I exclaimed my high praises for the movie. We even had a little fight over it, remember? But I was blind. I was blind to a lot of things. I guess we're all like that when we fall in love. We forget all reason; rational thought ceases to exist.

I must say though that you really made me happy. There are a lot of things I am thankful for, and I want to enumerate some of them here. Thank you for the Choco Cherry Torte cake we shared today, now my birthday is already complete. Thank you for buying that Kikomachine Komix number 5 for me after I've looked high and low for it. Thank you for that Owl City CD. Thank you for the Wizard plushies. Thank you for Kriket the starfish plushie. Thank you for replacing one of my bichir fishes with a new one when the one I named Aziraphale jumped out of the aquarium and died. Thank you for the white bag. Thank you for buying choco chip cookies for me every breaktime. Aside from the material things though, it's the special moments we had together that I would really hold dear. Thank you for that special date in Manila Ocean Park. Thank you for coming with me and my family to Enchanted Kingdom. Thank you for coming with me when I bought my netbook, my digicam, and my DVD player. Thank you for the memories of the David Cook/ Archuleta concert. Thank you for the gazillion text messages. Thank you for the lunchtime walks and chocolate ice cream cones. Thank you for the movies and for the DVD afternoons. Thank you for the hugs, thank you for the kisses. I really loved you and I am happy that you loved me too.

No one is closing any doors, as you said. I don't know if that's just twisted words meant to console me or not. You said that you need to be alone for now, and I respect that. I would not want to force or impose myself on anyone, as I've always told you. What I want: I want to want someone who wants me.. Someone who will let go of all inhibitions, someone who would be willing to face all fears and just want to be with me, someone who will be proud to have me, someone who knows it will be hard, but it will be okay because we will be together. At this moment - and thank you for admitting it - you can't be that someone. I hope someday, if not for me, you will be that someone for somebody else. And I hope when that time comes, I will be happy for you. I must say that this is one of the bravest things I have done. I guess I just have to get strength from the knowledge that someday, all of this will make sense.

Now let me crawl under my pillows and cry my heartbreak away so I can face you in the office tomorrow with my bright, unaffected smile.

17 comments

Belle ♥ said...

awww :(

hugs krissy. you know i'm always here for you ♥

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

Awww krissy sweetieeeeee.... I'm sorry about what's happening. I hope as each day passes by you get to forget about this heartache. Does he read your blog? Sending you hugs and kisses. Stay strong sweet krissy.

jones alvarez castro said...

:(

the girl in stiletto said...

:'( you made me cry. i'll cry with you.

Johana Hill said...

Sorry to hear about your break up. Time heals, so they say. Take care dear.

Kay said...

aww Krissy *hugs*

someday your TRUE prince will come and make u forget about all the hurt you're feeling right now..

im here for u twin (:)) i've been down this NCR thing one too many times before.

r u s s said...

OH DEAR.
This may sound cliche-ish, but everything happens for a reason. Bring with you lessons from this relationship. I'm sure they will make you a better and stronger individual. Give yourself time to be sad without forgetting about yourself in the process. Please take good care of yourself. A lot of people love you.
☮.♥.✮ ☀..✈

Anagon =) said...

haaay.... this day did came. =/ let time heal you sis, and i know youre brave to face the next days...we're all here for you! <3

jessonwordpress said...

Oh my God, Krissssyyyyyy?!!!!

I will not stop you from crying the pain away, 'cause that's the only thing you can do right now. Please, just text me if you need someone to share your feelings with. Whenever you're ready, Krissy!

Miss Guimba said...

Oh, dear Krissy... I'm so sorry this happened... I just watched 500 Days of Summer two weeks ago and at first, I was unimpressed and then I realized how true it was... Sometimes, we feel that the world is crashing down on us... but we let go... we survive... we are stronger after...

Leah said...

Krissy, I hope you'll feel better tomorrow. Things happen for a reason... just hang in there girl. xoxo

MKL said...

Oh Krissy.... The way you wrote it, made me a bit sentimental. I had stories like yours end like yours. I wish you all the best, k. Be strong.

Andhari said...

Krissy, I really wanna go there and hug you right now. I'm really sorry. Your post is so wise but still kind, it amazes me how you're still so wise even with this kind of sadness. I hope you acquire more and more strength day by day.

Eden said...

awww babe. im so sorry to hear this--first time ko pa naman sa blog mo.:( story of my life-- a lot of ups and downs when it comes to my own relationship as well-- but what everybody is saying is true, things will unfold and reasons will be understood in due time.. but right now, yeah, best you can do is let it all out and be in the company of friends. hope you get well soon enough!

<3
eden

Abby Kihano said...

i think you need a hug, so im sending a hug from me to you specially from california. because us here in california, we know how heart break works. heh.

but trully, things come and go. just think of it as another step closer to the one ^_^

Nikolett said...

Oh Krissy ... I want to envelope you in the tighest of hugs. You're so strong and there's nothing wrong with crying ... it must be so awkward knowing that he's in the same work-space but if anything can get through it, I know it's you. It's good that you can cherish the good memories, and I'm glad you two have come to a place where you realize who you are for each other. It's still sad, though :(

And there's this song by Prozzak that I love called "Just Friends" and it's about being srong enough to let go ... maybe have a listen? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlqlBZc14hU) *HUGS* I think it could fit both of your point of views.

RicAdeMus said...

Kay is right Krissy. It's a sad time, but your prince will find you. He has to, you're a princess!