In which I talk about life and death

10 February 2010

First of all I would like to thank you all for listening to my little rant yesterday. It was one of "those days" when I just needed to blow off some steam. I appreciate all your comments and well wishes, thank you for making me feel so loved. :) 

I wanted to tell a completely different story for today but I guess that would have to wait.

Today is supposed to be my paternal grandmother's 72nd birthday. Her name is Virginia, and I call her Lola Binyang. She succumbed to a hypertension attack on September 21, 2005. After showering, she just felt dizzy, and that was it. She was taken to the hospital, where she was pronounced brain-dead as one of the veins in her head has already popped. My aunts, uncles and father had no choice but to agree for the life-support system to be switched off.

It's a shame I don't have a photo of her in my computer... She was what you may call a "classic beauty" (and I got my dimples from her.) She was the mother of eleven children and was a very charming and kindhearted grandmother to us. She was strong yet gentle at the same time. I still do miss her, and sometimes it is still hard to believe she is already gone.

Today my Papa and Mama together with my sister Kyla and cousin Jerico (my brother Ken had classes) went to their house in Malabon to "celebrate" her birthday and offer prayers for her. It was nice to see my aunts and uncles whom I haven't seen for a while (since I wasn't able to attend the family reunion last Christmas.)

We got home at around 5PM. By 6PM, my mother had to leave again because she and his brother had to take their father (my  maternal grandfather) to the hospital as he has been sick for a few days now. They went there last Sunday but were told by the doctors to go home since his condition is not that bad. Now they told us that he would have to be confined to the hospital already because of pneumonia. Now I am really worried, and I hope he gets better soon... My Lolo is tough though, I know he will get through this.

It got me thinking of the book I read recently thanks to Marj aka Miss Guimba

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

She sent me her personal copy for Christmas and I was so touched! I read it here in my parents' house before going to sleep and I was drawn by the story. It is about Susie, a 14-year old girl who was raped and viciously murdered. She watches her family (and how they dealt with their grief) from her heaven. Through this she was able to discover and realize things about life and about herself and her family. This was made into a movie by Peter Jackson and Stanley Tucci - the actor who portrayed Mr. Harvey, her murderer - was even nominated for an Oscar award. I don't know if it will be shown here though, I hope it will.

Quite incidentally, I was listening to the Music Player in my phone earlier (where the songs are in Shuffle mode) when it played Kris Allen's song Gotta Live Like We're Dying (which was written by the guys from one of my favorite bands The Script.) I thought it was very apt; let me share with you the lyrics of the chorus:

We gotta start
looking at the hands of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start livin' it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

Yeah we got
86,400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em 
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

I don't want to sound cliche-ish and preachy to you guys but we all know it's the truth: that time spent is time gone, and while we're here we have to make the most out of our stay. I am happy I am able to chronicle my life through this little space I have in the Internet. In the event I die unexpectedly, I have already entrusted someone to post the details of my death in this blog. Morbid much? Not really, I just don't want you guys to think I abandoned you. :)

For now, let's all seize the moment! I do hope that we all get the life we want and deserve.

PS: Ana and Mel also wrote about people close to them who have died in the last couple of days. What's sad is that they died at the prime of their lives, their hopes and dreams (and those of their families unnecessarily taken from them. RIP Jessa and Mr. Cuan.

Thank you for reading this and I hope I did not creep you out. As Susie said, "I wish you all a long and happy life."


  1. It's sad how death around us serves as a wake up call to live life to the fullest. We often plan ahead but we never know when something might come up and everything comes to an end. The lyrics to the song you mentioned hits it right on the spot. I was just thinking of this song earlier but forgot the title of it. Thanks by the way, for mentioning me in your blog and posting a link to the news article.

  2. i see death almost every day. i mean not me, but my patients. or someone else's patients. at times, it reminds me, life is too short. way too short that we ever realize. that's why we should always, live, love, laugh, (eat = according to kym), and shop! :)

  3. I'm sorry you lost your grandma, but it's nice you have such nice memories of her. My parents both died young from brain aneurysms.

    I'll have your grandpa in my prayers.

  4. I thought I heard it in a movie, but then I remembered that it was Marlene Aguilar who said it one of her interviews. I just can't remember if she was quoting her son. It struck me. She said something like the only thing that's certain in this world is death.

  5. while reading your post, i remebered my own lola, she died a couple of years ago and i miss her so much!
    *now im getting teary*

    && i agree with you sister, live a life to the fullest :)

  6. I like the way you think, you're very thoughtful and considerate of those around you. I also lost my grandma some 4 years ago and she was also one of the kindest people I knew. I wonder, if our generation will be such nice one as the one of our grandparents.

    I never thought about what would happen to my blog, if I die. I guess either my girlfriend/wife or someone from my family would notify my followers. But I don't wanna think about that :)

  7. @ Mel: Hi Mel, you're welcome.

    @ Stilettogirl: That is my philosophy as well. :)

    @ Rick: I didn't know, sorry about that, you must miss them so much. Thank you Rick, my grandpa is doing better now :)

    @ Russ: That is so true.

    @ Cha: Awww I'm sorry about that.. Indeed we should live life to the fullest :)

    @ Nino: Thank you for your kind words :)

  8. condolences to you and your family krissy. words can't really ease the feeling of loss but just think of the better world that awaits her.

  9. may your grandma RIP. and I didn't know that that is what lovely bones is about, hmmm that sounds like an interesting movie now, perhaps I'll see it this coming tuesday. Have a great weekend!

  10. yes, seize the moment! lifes too short! i know your grandma is smiling down on you guys :)

    p.s - i saw the lovely bones and it was ... interesting! haha! im sure the book is 10x better!

  11. Aww, I really hope your grandpa feels better. This post really means a lot ... I've been thinking a lot lately about time and saw a play today at my school about a girl committing suicide at a young age and it just made me think about how life is so short ... definitely need to make the most of it.

    And there's something very morbidly sweet about you not wanting us to think you abandoned us haha.

    P.S. You might want to check out my blog and the giveaway winners ;) teehee.

  12. Too many good people die young, eh?

  13. My family approaches death so candidly. We often talk about how our funerals will be like when we die, but I never thought about having someone announce to my blog about my death. I should keep that in mind. I have a Lolo I'm very close to, and I always dread the day when he'll leave us. He's already 87. So, I hope you'll still have precious time with yours. I'll include him in my prayers.

  14. @ Betz: Thank you :)

    @ Pop Champagne: Thank you. I will definitely try to see if I can get a copy here. :)

    @ Kym: I liked the book. It is not typically what I read but it is very interesting. You should read it din! :)

    @ Nikolett: Suicide is something I cannot even contemplate doing x_x And I just found out I am one of the winners of your giveaway! Yay!! :D

    @ Nashe^: Indeed. Alexander McQueen, RIP.

    @ Marj: Thank you :) Aren't grandparents the best?


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