I do realize that my blog has become a no holds barred territory where I have over-shared some things I might regret talking about later on. I have told you about my personal triumphs, heartbreaks, random musings, and a whole lot of other things you don't really need to know (I mean, do you need to know that I love buying myself lingerie?) --- all to satisfy my need to express myself and my wanting to hone my writing skills. 

And now, I have another confession that-probably-will-not-help-your-life-in-any-way-but-I-just-wanted-to-share-because-I-feel-it-is-a-personal-milestone-for-me to make: I have never had my hair down there waxed before. Ever. Until today, that is. Oh yes baby, today I spent my morning getting stripped, and I want to tell you all about it ;)

Before our individual sessions, Monique of Strip told us (bloggers and press people) about their services. Strip actually originated in Singapore and now has a lot of branches in different countries, including the UK! Did you know that they have pruned more than 2,000,000 'bushes' since then? Uh huh.

Strip prides itself on three things: Hygiene, Speed, and Quality.

Hygiene

Stripellas don't double-dip the spatulas used to apply the wax on you.

They also use latex gloves to ensure that our hoo-hoos are

(literally) handled carefully and in the cleanest way possible.

Speed

Each Brazilian wax is expected to take 15 minutes only,

except if the customer has a low pain tolerance.

Quality

Every Stripella undergoes meticulous and in-depth training

(in Singapore, sometimes) before working with wax.

They also regularly go through additional training

to make sure their knowledge and skills are up to par with

other Stripellas worldwide.

It was funny how I got singled out because it was my first time. I was a bit nervous, yes, but not to the point of wanting to back out since I also really wanted to try it out and see whether I'd like it. Monique also gave me a quick one-on-one on what to expect, and quelled my fears of the pain by saying that if I feel I couldn't take it, I can ask for a special bach essence applied at the back of the tongue to calm my nerves. I have a rather high pain tolerance but I still got anxious a bit, but it was my turn before I knew it.

Of course I won't post 'before' and 'after' photos here. I am open, but not that open! All I can tell you is that I felt really uncomfortable at first about lying there with my jelly exposed like that, but She made me feel at ease by telling different stories and entertaining my questions. I also reasoned with myself that she has probably seen hundreds of other hoo-hoos before so I shouldn't be bothered. In just a few moments, I already felt comfortable chatting with her that it's like she wasn't applying hot wax on my private body parts at the same time. As for the pain, I can probably rate it 7/10, with 10 being the most painful. Besides, the most painful was having the thickest part removed, while waxing off the other hair on the lips and the crack even felt almost ticklish. When having the 'bush' removed, it is advisable to breathe in and wait until after the wax was pulled off before you exhale.

And did I tell you about the scent? Oh my. You know I love vanilla scented candles, so the Vanilla wax just smelled heavenly. Heavenly, I tell ya.

So what do I feel now? I am not kidding when I say I feel lighter and sexier, and definitely more free! It's amazing how much can change in 15 minutes! Also, I suddenly have this urge to put a bikini on and go to the beach... Hmm. Although it is not advisable to go to the beach (or even the pool!) less than three days after your wax, of course.

I still haven't completely escaped the somber state I found myself in since last week, but thankfully things are looking a little brighter these days thanks to friends and work. I didn't really notice days passing by until I realized today is already the 25th and this is only my 11th(!!!) post whereas looking at my blog archives I used to average at least 20 posts a month. SeptemBLUR, indeed! Still, my daily page views remain consistent no matter how infrequently I update these days, so thank you for visiting regularly :)

Tonight I will go to a special advanced screening of The Perks of Being a Wallflower movie --- I chose this over a big bash to celebrate the launch of a new shoe collection by a renowned local fashion designer even though I know I can catch the movie any other day. I'm not really fond of night-outs you see, and I'm just not in the mood to dress up and socialize. I say, give me a book or a movie any day and I'll be happy.

Those who've read the book know that Charlie is fond of mixtapes, so in honor of Charlie and Sam and Patrick, I made a mixtape for you :)

I am sad.

I've been feeling sad the whole week and try as I might, I cannot quite shake off the somber state I suddenly found myself in. What's worse is that I can't even bring myself to cry. I find shedding tears therapeutic, you see, and I always find things to be a little bit brighter (and my chest, lighter) after a few sobs. I need a cleanse - in the form of reading my fool-proof tear-inducing remedies The Notebook or The Fault in Our Stars - but they were borrowed by my friends so I guess I'd just have to sit this out and play Chefville until this horrible feeling goes away.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower movie will be shown here in the Philippines this week, and I was fortunate enough to have been invited to the premiere. I'm still not quite convinced with Emma Watson's acting ability but I'm excited to see the movie because I found myself identifying with the main character Charlie from the first time I read the book. Not because I suffered any form of abuse, but because like him I am also very introspective. I was very outspoken and outgoing when I was younger but it changed drastically when I got to my 20s: I became shy, reserved, awkward, and found myself retreating to my own shell. I felt like I lost balance and started struggling to find my serenity within this chaos.

Maybe a contributing factor to this are broken friendships and relationships. I find that losing friends because of rifts and misunderstandings feels like total blindsides, and heartbreaks do damaging things to one's self-esteem. You feel rejected. You feel insecure. You feel like you were not enough. I know I shouldn't dwell on it too much because after all, "Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody." but I really have problems letting go easily. And if I feel like I am not enough, how would I be able to step out of this mess of self-deprecation and go after what I want? Isn't it that "we accept the love we think we deserve"?

"I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have." And that is for the Team What-Are-You-Sad-About-Other-People-Have-It-Much-Worse.

"So this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be." I think this is what having a quarter-life crisis feels like, and I should just suck it in and wait for the sad feelings to go away... It's just that I'm scared I might be used to their looming presence and let them take over my life.

I know this is too heavy a topic for this lazy Saturday noon but I can't help myself --- I need to shout out to the universe that I am sad, that she may help bring a smile to my heart again. Because "there's nothing like deep breaths after laughing hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons."

Aside from books and movies, one thing I don't mind spending for are concerts. It doesn't matter if it's a local or foreign act - whenever one of my favorites stage a concert here I make sure I catch them, and if only I have unlimited funds I would even be willing to go abroad just to see my favorite artists perform live. It can be an expensive hobby, I know, but really, wouldn't you feel the same for something you might be able to experience only once in your lifetime? I mean, I can't pinpoint why exactly, but for me it's a journey that begins once the concert is announced, that continues upon getting my tickets, that extends with the excited anticipation for the day of the concert itself, that reaches great heights when I hear the opening strains of the first song, that climaxes when they play my favorite song of theirs, and that still continues days or even weeks after, depending on how wowed I was by their performance. Oh yes, I embrace every single part of the experience.

You know how hearing some songs trigger certain memories? Hearing the song live brings me the same feeling, magnified hundred times over. Even when I download songs, I always prefer the live versions because they feel more raw, more real. Maybe that's also why except for Britney Spears, I don't like 'manufactured' pop stars that much because most of them *cough*Katy Perry*cough*Rihanna*cough* sound terrible live?

Of all the concerts I've been to, my favorite would probably have to be The Script's on April 2011. There was just so much passion and energy that time and I savored every second. Although, the one that really made me emotional is Jason Mraz's on October 2011. You can check Youtube for his live performances, the guy's a musical genius! I am almost always moved to tears whenever I hear my favorites sung live, but I think nothing will compare to the night I heard A Beautiful Mess. Sigh. What a beautiful, beautiful song. Close runners-up are The Cranberries' (although they didn't play Promises. Yes, I still can't get over it haha) on April 2012 and Hanson's on March 2012. Meanwhile, the most memorable is definitely the Eraserheads: The Final Set on March 2009. Eraserheads is one of the best OPM bands, and it was an honor to be one of thousands of people who saw their final performance as a foursome. Electrifying. Overwhelming. Orgasmic. Words are not enough to describe it.

Can you see me? LOL I was in the Silver section with Ana and my brother. I have had this photo saved in my computer for so long that I cannot trace the original owner anymore. If you know, please do tell me so I can credit properly.

Of course, what makes the experience so much better is the people I'm with when I watched these. My concert buddy Ana and I have been to several shows already, and I say shared experiences are always the best!

I said before that my dream concerts to go to are Britney Spears', Keane's, Natasha Bedingfield's (Unwritten means so much to me personally), The Format's, and Pink's (have you seen the video of her performing Glitter in the Air at the 2010 Grammy Awards? Breathtaking!), and when I heard that Keane will perform at the SM MOA Arena (on October 2!) my heart just stopped. I can't wait to hear my ultimate favorite love song Somewhere Only We Know live! I mean, I love the song so much I have five versions of it saved in my phone: the studio, live, and live acoustic versions, and covers done by Boyce Avenue and the Glee cast haha.

Oh man, until now I still regret not watching Hoobastank when they went here on 2004. It's a good thing they recently released a new album, I'm crossing my fingers they go on tour and visit Manila again. Also, Incubus. Sigh. They've been here a couple of times already but I still haven't been to any of their gigs! Aaand let's offer a moment of silence to the big disappointment that was last night, when we failed to go inside Araneta for Maroon 5. Sigh.

Do you love going to concerts, too? What's the best concert you've gone to?

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there, I did not die.

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

We miss you, Polybeb. I should be happy that you don't feel pain anymore, that you are somewhere far better than traffic-jammed and smog-filled Earth, and that you must be playing with my baby sister Kim right now. But all I can feel is a bitter pang, filling my heart with resounding reminders that I will never be able to hug you again.

During your wake, Mich asked me what my song for you is, and I answered it's a toss-up between Taylor Swift's Safe and Sound and Mariah Carey's Bye Bye. The former carries more meaning though, as I watched the Hunger Games movie for the third time just so I can accompany you. When your niece played a video montage of your photos and used it as the first song, I just lost it. I miss you so much, and I am deeply saddened about the fact you won't be around when the movie versions of Catching Fire and Mockingjay come out.

A lot of your friends, relatives, former classmates and officemates went to your wake to pay their final respects and say their last goodbyes, and it's amazing to see how many people are grieving for you. You touched so many lives with your effervescent spirit, and maybe the thing I am most sad about is that if I will be blessed with future kids, they won't have a Tita Poly to play with anymore.

Ian and Chris | Mich and Chao | me and Asther

We aim to continue celebrating your life. You have added so much to the sum of delight in our worlds, and we are very grateful. You will never be truly gone, as I know you are now among the stars, lending your sparkle and continuing to give light. We love you Poly, and we will miss you and your smiles forever. "Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now..."

Hello, everyone! First of all I would like to thank you for sending your condolences and prayers for my friend Poly. It is a total struggle dealing with the pain, but I know the grief and loss I feel won't ever compare to what her husband and family feel.

It's a testament to how special she really was whenever I read or hear messages from people who've met her only once or twice, like some of my friends from the blogging community. Even my friend Ed who saw her only once sang two songs for her the other night. What a sweet gesture, thanks guys. I know she is in heaven now, smiling down on all of us. We will go to her wake tomorrow as her body will be cremated on Saturday.

I won't be able to join any of the two events I will be sharing with you now, but I am extending the invitation to everyone who can come. I feel sad because I know Poly would've loved to join any of these two... I just miss her so much. For those who want to go, I recommend taking your girl friends with you. It'll be fun! Both of these will be happening this Saturday.

Tell me if any of you guys are going and link me to your blog entries if you'll post about it. I would love to know what will happen. Thanks and enjoy!