Sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.

21 September 2014

It is a sad but known fact that not all friendships pass the test of time. There are a number of factors that can contribute to a friendship discontinuing like distance, change in circumstances, or the most common of all (at least in my case), growing apart. Things change, people grow apart, time passes.

Let me ask you: Have you ever found yourself not having anything in common with some of your friends that you start to question your friendship with them? Have you ever felt like you've forgotten who they are and what your relationship with them used to be? I have. Several times. And it's scary because we used to be really close! But as I soon found out, that's normal. It's normal to feel abandoned after realizing that you've both grown apart. It's normal to feel isolated after learning that the interests that bound you before are nothing but mere memories now, just fodder for nostalgia, just fun little tidbits  to share on Throwback Thursdays. Growing up and growing apart is normal. After all, where else does friendship start but in finding common interests with someone.


I'm not saying you should discourage growth nor am I encouraging you to cut off all your friendships at the first signs of struggle. No. I'm just saying that some friendships are not worth fighting for, like those that undermine you and your worth, and those that stop you from showing your true self. You also have to learn to discern. There are some friendships where two people can go long periods of time without talking and when they finally see one another it's as if no time has passed and they continue where they left off, but there are some that are beyond repair. I realized that I also have to think of myself and that I'm better off without toxic relationships in my life. I'm not going to lie - it wasn't as easy as it sounds. It took a toll on my self-esteem and I questioned myself and my capacity to keep people in my life, but I guess that's really where my "gift" manifested: that when I need a friend, someone always comes through. 

The nature of my job means I get to meet a lot of people with the same interests, and I still have my close-knit group of friends from Elementary. I have lots of chums and acquaintances and a small group of close friends I know I can count on when the going gets tough, and I am grateful that they are in my life. As for my former friends, I'm still thankful for what we have shared but know better than to force it. I am being completely sincere  when I say I wish them well.

Cheers to friendships that grow together and friendships that recognize the reality that stopping being friends with someone doesn't necessarily mean you're throwing all your good memories together away!

5 comments:

Beauty by Tellie said...

Hi Twinnie! I know we're not super close but I think you're awesome and hope that kahit lola na tayo, we can still be twinnies in makeup evilness and goodness :P

Rae said...

I agree. I think this is normal. And with your line of work, you're really bound to meet a lot of people that are 'kind of' your friends but not really. And I say that not in a bad way, I just believe that it's impossible to have too many friends at the same time (or maybe I'm just a little introverted). I can only give out so much that I can only handle a handful of people to reach out to, to talk to, to know what's happening to them, etc.

And I think that's ok. I have a lot of 'friendly' relationships, but it takes a lot to be really really friends with someone.

krissy said...

I think you're super awesome, too! Love you, twinnie! ♡

krissy said...

I agree with you, Rae! It's great that I've "sharpened" my instincts through the years and consider myself a great judge of character, so I instantly know if someone's trying to get closer to me for "perks". :)

Rae said...

I think some are ok pa din naman, no hidden agenda, pero they're more "business/work friends" than "friend friends"